i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
