you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
