so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
