I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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