Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
