Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
