last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize