oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
