**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
