She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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