dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
