You're completely useless in the revolution.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
