i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize