went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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