do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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