how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
kristin has been a bad kristin
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
