the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
