my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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