Me. At least after what I've been through.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
