This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
