I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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