You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
