Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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