Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
COCAINE IS GR8
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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