my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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