so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize