I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
