I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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