I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
