can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize