You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
