If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
