I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
