Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
