why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
