i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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