You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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