please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize