Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
