Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You are the jesus of drinking
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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