Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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