She's JV to your varsity
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
