So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
