I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
