my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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