I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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