i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
