why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
