I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
