the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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