Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
