She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize