We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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