I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
