Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
