I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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