Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
