Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
