Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
