I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
