Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Your face is a jimmy john
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
