I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
