There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize