Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
