i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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