are you so shy because you have an std?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
