a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
