I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
