dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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