its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
