i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
