Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize