I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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