Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize