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He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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