bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I currently don't understand fingers.
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