Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
