i may or may not be watching the land before time
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
