Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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