So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
sarcasm needs its own font
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
